Hello and welcome to another weekend of the Banana Meter! For those not aware of how this works, let me explain it to you. First, our critics check out a film. Then, they rate it on our scale of 0-100%, we gather the percentage from all of your critics and that’s how we get our rating on the Banana Meter.
What is the Banana Meter scale, you ask?
When a film hits above 85% or higher from our critics, it means it hit Bonafide Bananas status.
When a film hits between 55-84% or higher from our critics, it means it hit Ripe status.
When the film hits under 55%, it means it hit Sour Status.
Our next film to hit the Banana Meter is The Northman
Here is what our Ripe Banana Critics are saying about the film:
Adriano Caporusso
Banana Meter Rating: 95%
The Northman is pure Robert Eggers, just with more money. Insane cast mixed with incredible crafts, I was obsessed with this film from start to finish.
Karen Woodham
Banana Meter Rating: 80%
The Northman is a powerful piece of cinematic storytelling, Robert Eggers has certainly brought us a film that not only looks good and sounds good but it also brings us some great performances from its selection of cast that we may not usually expect to see in this type of film.
Garry Arnot
Banana Meter Rating: 80%
Robert Eggers spends well earned creative currency build up by indie efforts on an epic-scale pagan pagger; a big-budget blockbuster that sacrifices none of the visionary director’s mythical, mystical madness
Kat Hughes
Banana Meter Rating: 90%
Eggers’ most accessible film, The Northman is brutally violent and beautifully bleak. The sound design rips the viewer out of the safety of their seat and thrusts them directly into the action., whilst the visuals hypnotise and entrance. Top tier version of Prince Amleth / Hamlet.
Kelechi Ehenulo
Banana Meter Rating: 80%
The Northman won’t be for everyone. It may fall short of being a masterpiece (and Eggers’ best film), but it’s hard not to begrudge it. Some films are worth the effort, and Eggers proves he’s worth the engagement.
Maggie Lovitt
Banana Meter Rating: 100%
The Northman, coupled with last year’s oft-overlooked The Green Knight, stands as a stark reminder that there is still a place in cinema for gorgeous, inspired odysseys, rife with literary allusions, deep-seated spiritual meanings, and an exploration of complex human emotions.
Matt Negli
Banana Meter Rating: 75%
THE NORTHMAN is exactly what you’d expect from a $90 million Viking revenge film by Robert Eggers. Brutal & dazzling with a meticulous attention to detail. The story is pretty straightforward & slow early on but I was still in awe of its spectacle. Alexander Skarsgård is an absolute beast, as he cuts down everything and everyone in his path towards a fiery conclusion of vengeance & fury.
Maxance Vincent
Banana Meter Rating: 90%
Robert Eggers creates a pulse-pounding and visually enthralling Viking epic, that’s in equal parts magnificent and completely bonkers in all the right ways. Alexander Skarsgard, Claes Bang and Nicole Kidman are major standouts.
Peggy Maire
Banana Meter Rating: 25%
The Northman fills the screen with toxic masculinity, myths, sorcery, rage, grunting, and oddly, romance. It takes turns with itself, taking itself much too seriously at times, and at others the few spoken one liners are delivered so absurdly that the audience laughs, where it’s not meant to do so.
Renato Vieira
Banana Meter Rating: 90%
A blood-soaked epic for the ages, delivered with Eggers’ distinct voice at its most ferocious & primal. Fillee to the brum with unexpected, profound spirituality.
Thomasena Farrar
Banana Meter Rating: 80%
This film is a visually pleasing mind trip, yet oddly artsy at times in its presentation. Not for the squeamish or those who don’t like extreme action and gore, The Northman is like GOT on steroids with a much more satisfying ending.
Zach Smith
Banana Meter Rating: 82%
The Northman is Robert Eggers most sensational work to date, sure to once again divide audiences. It’s a captivating medieval spectacle of maddening and violent revenge, anchored by a cutthroat cast and some comprehensive set pieces. Movies of this size and nature, a tainted cinematic progeny of a past film industry, are an often misunderstood, incredibly endangered and rarely seen species.
What is The Northman’s Banana Meter Rating?
Ripe Banana 