If last week was for the romantics, this week’s watchlist will satisfy your love of all things horror.

By Sean Blanford

In Theaters
Dog: Reid Carolin has been a producer in multiple Channing Tatum films as far back as 2008’s Stop-Loss, but with Dog, this marks his co-directorial debut alongside Tutum. The film follows a former Army Ranger (Tatum) who has to travel alongside a feisty military Belgian Malinois named Lul on a road trip to a fellow soldier’s funeral.

The Cursed: A film that dates back to the 2021 Sundance Film Festival under its original title Eight for Silver, The Cursed has garnered critical acclaim for its chilling take on possession horror. Starring Boyd Holbrook as a man trying to rid himself of his own personal demons while also trying to free a small French town of their own, this marks the first feature of writer/director Sean Ellis since 2016’s Anthropoid.

Uncharted: The first of two films that will be covered on this week’s Bananameter is the much-anticipated adaptation of the beloved PlayStation series starring mark Wahlberg and Antonio Banderas alongside Tom Holland as Victor Drake. Much like last week’s Death on the Nile, Uncharted has dealt with multiple release dates dating back to December 2020, but initial discussions of adapting this franchise date as far back as 2008.

Netflix
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Not to be confused with the 1974 Tobe Hooper classic, the 2003 Jessica Beil remake, or the 2013 version that was in 3D, 2022’s version has no “The” at the beginning of the title but has more than enough blood and gore to make up for it. Marketed as a spiritual sequel to the original, the film stars Elsie Fisher of Eighth Grade fame and sports a screenplay co-written by Don’t Breathe’s writer/director, Fede Alvarez. This will be the second film of the week covered on the Bananameter.

Hulu
Titane: if I had it my way, this entire article would be an open letter about why you should watch this film, but the editorial staff at Bananameter thought I should branch out a little more. Writer-Director Julia Ducournau made a mark on the horror genre with her 2016 debut Raw, and with Titane, she went to places not many filmmakers would dare to go to and was rewarded with the 2021 Palme d’Or at Cannes. Two understated yet powerful performances from film legend Vincent Lindon and newcomer Agathe Rouselle in her feature film debut capture complex subjects like toxic masculinity, sexuality, and discovery of identity in ways few could imagine. This is a film not for the faint of heart or for the squeamish but is rewarding if you stick with it to the very end.